Tell Us a JOKE, page 4

these are without Doubt very bad Jokes




l-)

https://cagle.com/news/GlobalWarming07/images/benson.gif

https://cagle.com/news/GlobalWarming07/images/oconnor.jpg

my 2 favorite ones      

we arnt jackass btw, just tigers      

i found this one on the net (not sure if its here )


A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodka."

The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day." "Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."

The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks.

When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"

On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.

The bartender said "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

"Yeah, my wife!"

ok, this one is short but good...

Here it is....

Two women were sitting on a park bench, minding their own business

really              


that was a great one  

I got this one today and couldnt resist.

Yesterday I was sexist, today I'm taking the pish out of the Irish. I'm pretty sure I'm going to hell. Ah well, at least my friends will be there....

Paddy is planning to marry, he is, and asks his family doctor how he could tell if his bride-to-be is still a virgin.
His doctor says, "Aye, Paddy, all Irish use three things for what we call a Do-It-Yourself.... Virginity Test Kit.... a small can of red paint, a small can of blue paint and a shovel."
Paddy asks, "Aye, and what do I do with these things, doctor?"
The doctor replies, "Before ye climb into bed on your wedding night, you paint one of your balls red and the other ball blue. If she says, "That's the strangest pair of balls I ever did see...", you hit her with the shovel.'

read this and wanted to share  

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

A rabbit was hopping through the forest when he came upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit said,"Giraffe, don't do drugs. Come, run with me through the forest."The giraffe looked at the rabbit, then at the joint. He dropped the joint and ran off with the rabbit. They came upon an elephant snorting cocaine. The rabbit said,"Elephant, don't do drugs. Come, run with us through the forest."The elephant looked at his razor blade and mirror, tossed them away and began running with the rabbit and giraffe. The three animals then came across a lion about to shoot up. The rabbit said,"Lion, don't do drugs. Come, run with us through the forest."The lion looked at the rabbit and then at the needle. He put down the needle and started to beat the living daylights out of the rabbit. Horrified, the giraffe and elephant asked,"Lion, why are you doing this? He was only trying to help you." The lion answered,"This little thing? He makes me run around the forest like an idiot every time he's on ecstasy

  hypocrite

i can just imagine the situation  

LOOOOOOOOOOOL this one is off the hook  
i have a couple of jokes but i don't know if they r posted earlier or not

A speedfreak is out walking one fine evening. He finds a poor person on the street and helps him up. The poor person says, "Son, I'm a genie. And since you helped me I'll give you three wishes."

The speedfreak says, "I want a big bag of meth!", the genie says."Okay." POOF, the bag appears! They prepare some thick long white lines and share it between the two of them.

The next morning the genie asks "What's the second wish?", "I want two big bags of meth", says the speedfreak. "Okay," says the genie. POOF! And they prepare it and snort it between the two of them.

The next morning the genie asks "And the third wish?" "I want four big bags of meth!" POOOF!! So, they prepare lots of big lines and share it between the two of them.

Much later the genie gets up and says, "Okay, it's time for me to go." The genie takes a couple of steps, pauses, turns around and says, "Okay, just one more wish."

   

not the traditional genie, i wish i had one like that  

Little Johnny was making faces at others on the playground. Discovering this, a teacher stopped to gently scold him. Smiling sweetly the teacher said, Johnny, when I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces, my face would stay like that.  Little Johnny looked up and replied, Well you cant say you werent warned.

Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?
Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position. :L made me laugh when i first heard it :L

New word added to Oxford dictionary: Mubarak (v.): To stick something, or to glue somthing .
Example:" I will punch you, and mubarak you to the wall"
Or " you can mubarak the pieces to hold them together "