Tell Us a JOKE

Whale Joke A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship.  The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.  He said to the female whale, 'Let's both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time; and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink;  They tried it, and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.  Soon, however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore.  The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, 'Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore.'  At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him.  'Look,' she said, 'I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen.'

There's a big difference between men and women when dey say ---

" I Finished a whole box of Tissue watching that Film last night "

Hilarious one, anyone who has a min should read it ... i realize its a long read. Who knows might bring a smile on your face


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A young man has always dreamed on owning a Harley Davidson. One day he has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the dealer. After picking out the perfect bike the dealer warns him that if he leaves his Harley in the rain the chrome has a tendency to rust. He tells the young man an old biker's trick is to keep a jar of Vaseline handy and smear it on the chrome if the bike must be left out in the rain.

A few months later the young man meets a woman and falls in love. She asks him to come home and meet her parents over dinner. He readily agrees and the date is set. At the appointed time he picks her up on his Harley and they ride to her parents house. Before they go in she tells him that they have a family tradition that whoever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes.

After a delicious dinner everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break and get stuck doing the dishes. After a long fifteen minutes the young man decides to speed things up so he reaches over and kisses the
woman in front of her family.

And no one says a word...! Next he decides to take a more direct approach so he throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of everyone. And still no one says a word...!!! Now he is getting desperate, so he grabs her mother and throws her on the table. They have even wilder sex. But no one says a word...!!!!

By now he is getting very worried and is wondering what to do next when he hears thunder in the distance. His first thought is to protect the chrome on his Harley, so he reaches in his pocket and pulls out the Vaseline. And the father says, "Okay dammit, I'll do the dishes.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A DOG WITH NO LEGS???



ANSWER -    IT DON'T MATTER HE WON'T COME!

munkyn's face

that a hillarious joke

Yep sure is, but never as ugly as yours!!!

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Robbin Williams last joke on screen: (from: the Aristocrats(https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0436078/))

Roughly told:
A guy sees two old friends, now priests, eating supper.
He wanted to appease them and was uncertain which to send over: a bottle of wine, or a boyscout.

A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it.

Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?"

She replies, "Soup and ice cream."

A mushroom walked into a bar. The bar tender said, "Get out of here! We don't serve your kind."
"Hey, what's the problem?"
"Just get out of here. We don't serve mushrooms."
The mushroom in anguish says, "Why not? I'm a fun guy."

A person walks into a bar and  asks the bar tender for a drink. The bartender points to a sign above the bar that says "sorry we don't serve animals".

The person yells "But I'm not an animal".

The bartender then points to another sign above the bar "Then why do you have to drink?,we don't serve dumb-ass either!".

What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians?
One hundred people who don't do dick.